Just...riiight....there

It's nice to be home after my whirlwind trip to Dallas, where I partook in some white-knuckle sock-knocking-off project management training. One Brazilian churrascaria feast, 2 Alberto encounters, 1 nacho lunch (highlight!), 2 games of bowling (unanimously awarded most awkward approach) and 3 nights of consecutive heartburn later, I am finally home.

My cautionary tale of the night:

So I was sick for the past 2 weeks, right? Well, apparently all the runny nose wiping lay the groundwork for a fine, giant pimple - which emerged right underneath my right nostril. Unsavory as it may be, we all know that pimples can dry up and look like little boogers. It was indeed the perfect storm - one large, dried, green pimple + prime nostril location + oh-so-helpful coworkers.

Coworker 1: Hey, come over.
Me (walking over): Yeah?
Coworker 1 (pretends to wipe his nose): Right there.
Me: What's that?
Coworker 1 (wipes again, more deliberately, slower): Ya got something there. Riiight there.
Me (flatly): That's a pimple.
Coworker 1 (doubting tone): Oh really? Maybe it just looks different from this angle.
Me (brief moment of self doubt before remembering that I'm not crazy and no, I don't like just keeping such things dangling around.): Um. It is.

Suffice to say, I didn't let the moment pregnant with awkwardness hang around too long. My pseudo-boog and I made a hasty retreat to my cube/hiding place.

But hide forever I could not, and soon I was accosted by another Samaritan during the training class.

Coworker 2 (rushes over urgently): Hey there!
Me: Hi.
Coworker 2 (worried look, hushed tone, whispers): You got a little something. Riiiight there.
Me (hmm, let's just pretend I am an ignorant stupid man who doesn't care about appearing sanitary): Eh? It's okay. It's nothing.
Coworker 2 (uncertain how to respond): Oh...alright. Bye.
Me (moral victory, huzzah!): Bye.

So having this pseudo-boog pimple (which, btw, has refused to leave for over a week) makes me feel for those deep sea fish that have weird appendages/growths that are supposed be evolutionary aids.

Pesky Coworker Fish: Hey, you've got a mini fish riiight there.
Evolved Deep Sea Fish (embarrassed): Um, that's a growth.
Pesky Coworker Fish: No, really. It's right there. I'm gonna get closer and take a nibble.
Evolved Deep Sea Fish: CHOMP.

Yessir. Me and the EDSF. Two peas in a pod.

214 - Digits to beware

If a 214 area code calls, send it to voicemail. That is the lesson, my friends. Well, maybe the lesson is, don't give out your phone number to random janitor peeps. The calls persist, 2 this past weekend and an UNKNOWN ID last night (I think Alberto is getting more clever). The thing is, I'm in Dallas this week for training and I actually ran into him on Monday and Tuesday. It was weird - I felt like I had to be extra nice to him cuz all my coworkers were there - and were clued into the story. So, in extra-nice Spanglish, I chatted with him ... only to experience this wonderful gem of a moment.

Alberto: Hola! somethingsomething San Francisco?
Me: Que???
Alberto: somethingsomething San Francisco? (Big Smile)
Me: Que???
Alberto: somethingsomething San Francisco? (Bigger Smile)
Me: Que???
Alberto: somethingsomething San Francisco? (Biggest, Earnestest Smile)
Me: (OK, can't ask again - three times is max. better choose one hotshot) Si.
Alberto: Bueno. (skips away to do janitorial stuff down the hall. Seems to be smiling a lot. hmmmm.)

So...what the heck did I just agree to. My coworkers advise me to say No during times of confusion. To that, I say - um, if I had that good sense in me, would I be in this situation???

If I see him at my door back home one day, I won't even be surprised. Life ees fun, life ees fun.