Everest-erator

It was my Everest. Oh ho ho, was it ever my Everest.

With a sickly hum and a staunch refusal to churn even the measliest of scraps we offered it, the broken In-Sinkerator (street name: Garbage Disposal) was more than a slight inconvenience, it was a persistent, mocking reminder of who - or in this case, what - was in control. I may be its owner, but the House and its many mechanical minions merely cough and I am paralyzed, tossed into a limbo of decision - just live with it? maintenance men? product warranty? call Dad? .... or fix it myself? Every time Finicky House so much as blinked, I'd call the homeowner association service people. After all, I was under warranty. HAHA!

That ended last October and I've been hoping that we'd go problem free...well, forever. That's when In-Sinkerator struck. Or rather, got stuck.

On the verge of the Dad call (think Batman spotlight, only using my shoddy Samsung instead), I figured I'd see if a service guy could come out.

When the In-Sinkerator service guy suggested I just replace it myself, I found myself at a defining moment. If even the guy who stands to make money tells me to do it myself rather than pay him, something must really be wrong. It must be like offering to pay a doctor to help me put on my glasses or something.

It was time for me to be ... a Man of the House.

For the first time ever, I went to Home Depot to buy something other than gift for my Dad or pick out something to be installed by someone else. I masked my look of desperation as best I could and toted my new In-Sinkerator, plumber's putty (plumber = me!), and adjustable pliers (aside from some mini computer screwdrivers, I have no real tools) home.

Now I know where the term "screw this!" comes from. After an afternoon of screwing, unscrewing, wresting and lugging, I excised the broken beast from under my sink only to discover that there was a whole other list of missing tools. With my ever-so-patient roommates Kroosts and Cat offering moral support, I steeled myself for the second round. Off to Ace I went and brought back a wire stripper (not nearly as sexy as it sounds), wire caps, and electrical tape. With my new artillery, I jumped back into the fray and managed to put the new beast in by evening.

I flicked the switch.
Whirrrrrrrr.

Ah, the sound of success had never sounded sweeter. If I ever cook with real food (non-Ramen based cuisine), I can't wait to toss some crazy chunks of food down that puppy.

I wonder if Bob Vila needs an understudy?

I'm a tomato

Just got back from my interview with the Experiment in International Living. It was a really fun interview, although I am on pins and needles hoping that I made a good impression. I think I did well...then again, I was the only person in a suit there. Oops.

The cool thing about this trip abroad is that it's being an RA in a new world. This expedition is about immersing ourselves in a new culture, helping young minds grow, and gaining a better understanding of how the rest of the world lives. Australia, New Zealand, South Africa or Botswana ... I don't mind where I get sent -- I just hope hope hope I get sent.

As usual, of course, there was a defining FunAlley moment, when time sort of slowed and the proverbial pie smashed beautifully in my face. The group interview consisted of four candidates and the interviewer sitting on chairs forming a circle.

Interviewer: What fruit would you be?
Candidate #1: Mango. Because it's tropical and full of flavor.
Interviewer: Interesting!
Me: I would be a tomato. Because people think it's a vegetable but it's really a fruit. Similarly,...
Candidate #3: ...People think you are a vegetable but you really are a fruit?
Interviewer: (stifles laugh)
Me: *cry!*

The end.

Wish me luck peeps.

With the things I say, I'm sure going to need it.

Pic o the day - HalloBday Di 2003

IMGP1545
Originally uploaded by funalley.

It was a fancy meal...

...so of course we got dressed up.

Bully For Me

** blogger's note: you know you're onto something when you write a new blog on the exact same topic as two months ago. well too bad, i wrote this on BART so i'm posting it :). without further ado, i present to you, deja vu **

As Nabs and I have discussed many a time, I am a bad man. Of the variety of reasons why we arrive at this conclusion, the predominant one is that I am one confrontational monster. For more on this, you can check one of my previous blog entitled “ Oops I Did It Again" (2/6/05). In my defense, this may be overstating the case, but the essence of it is true. For anyone who has had the misfortune of getting embroiled in my investigational assaults, I am sorry to have plunged you into the hottest of hot seats. Typically, this occurs during the most unassuming of times.

Buddy: It sure is a nice day out.
Me: Really? It’s actually kind of overcast. I think it may even rain.
Buddy: Perhaps. Still, it’s pretty nice.
Me: You think so? Do you like overcast days? Typically, people favor sunny days, which seem far superior to the gray ones. Overcast days kind of just suck the life out of me.
Buddy: Errr. Well, today’s pretty decent. I mean, sure it’s slightly cold, but it kind of wakes you up.
Me: I’m not so sure about that. On days like these, I’d imagine people would rather just sleep in and hide under their blankets. I think people would call it a rather gross day. You don’t think it’s a gross day?
Buddy: Well, maybe. I dunno.
Me: Ooookaayyyy. Then, I’m not so sure I see how you can think of it as both a nice day and a gross day at the same time.
Buddy: I gotta go. Bye.
Me (calling after him): Wait! So I’m confused as to what you think!

When it comes to conversations, I’m a Spockian fact checker. Whenever I hear something I am confused about, I ask questions. In a thorough and detailed manner, I will try to ask as many questions as it takes for me to truly understand what a person is saying, in inescapable, black and white terms. My line of questioning typically involves a mix of questions I personally support (“don’t most people think sunny days are nice?”) as well as questions to which I completely disagree with (“wait, so you think people really enjoy getting wet in the rain?”). As I collect my data, I gradually triangulate towards the nugget of fact – the core essence – of what that person is saying.

People have called this approach unnecessary. It’s just normal conversation! Does it have to be a cross examination? Is it that important to pressure test someone’s assertions anyway? Do you really have to kick those damn tires?

I don’t. But I guess I figured any question that can be defended won’t be interpreted as offensive anyway, right?

Wrong.

We are all sensitive in different ways. What our friends say to us carry a weight that may not be evident at first blush. While I may want to poke and prod at others’ beliefs, I need to realize that the other side may not be viewing the exchange in as removed, scientific, and logical manner. In fact, the other side may interpret it as accusatory, insinuatory, or maybe even downright hostile.

Sometimes we think that with those closest to us, our family and friends, we can be as harsh to them as we want. We think things like - “They understand”, “They know how I am.”, “We like it when we speak our minds.”, and “I just want to keep it real.” Perhaps it’s time that we – that I – realize that those closest are also those we care about and want to make happy. Perhaps participating in spontaneous verbal jousting isn’t as wholesome and fun of an activity as I thought.

It All Started With A Sportcoat

Grabbed dinner with CMUG tonight and ruminated about a million things under the sun - what a struggle it was to introduce the daylight savings concept (some states aren't implementing this??), hating or loving certain high school students, hoarding raffle tickets beyond the point of redemption (a very sad story I need to share in a future blog), and looking the part. It's this last topic that drew some sharp opinions from both of us -- this is what I want to air tonight.

Lately, I've been observing people all around me -- on the street, on Bart, at work, in the stores, on TV -- wherever. I've been carefully noting the first impression they make on me and try to identify the reason for it. I've mentally started categorizing these strangers into different buckets like the CEO, the Slacker, the Middle Manager, the Housewife, the Student, and the Sales Guy. I suppose you could just say this is some good old fashioned stereotyping -- but just know this is done in the name of research!

What research might this be, you ask? (Thanks for inquiring, btw) Well, since you ask, it's to resolve the eternal question - Should I buy a sportcoat?

Now, I am not a sportcoat kind of guy. Actually, I am far from it. On any given day, I'd rather wear my tattered jeans and Berkeley hoodie (hole in the back, thanks to Max) than suit up in business attire. Still, as I stand on the cusp of understanding the inner workings of the business world, I figure that assessing any other ways to succeed in business could be worthwhile.

I've noticed at work that all the VPs wear their sportcoats (typically navy blue, matched to tan slacks) to meetings with executive management. This is interesting to note, as my company has a business casual policy. That means that, really, a button down shirt and some slacks are sufficient. Full on suits are definitely not de rigeur here. What I didn't pick up on until I visited a customer's executive team with a few VPs and directors on my side was that there is a dress code for situations where you need to be fancy but not too fancy. This is called sportcoat casual. A simple donning of said jacket will commute to you high-professional status. No longer do you look like a cube monkey -- but you also won't look like you're ready to attend a wedding or interview.

So "who cares?" you ask. Why should anyone care what the heck jacket you wear to such meetings? I used to think this as well -- which I attribute to the "David slays Goliath" mentality of the dotcom generation. During the late 90s and early 2000s, kids were the movers and shakers. Casual dress was huge - and new college grads - even high school grads - were doing huge things and constructing the New Economy. It's the power of our minds and ambitions -- not the showiness of our dress or savviness of our politics -- that made things happen. We didn't have to do the dance, we were making others dance. Well, folks, for the most part, the old school ways are back in full force, and if you want to make a good first impression, you're going to need to look the part.

This is going to sound superficial, but so much is gleaned from how you look. Before you can open your mouth, people may have already pegged you. This can be a great thing - or downright regrettable.

• clothing - being neat counts. the more untucked, the more casual - nee, flippant. the better fitting, the more upscale you look. you can be PartyBoy, IvyLeague, MillionBucks, or HoboJim. You are what you wear. Remember that.
  
• hairstyle - now I am pretty much screwed by this, as I am not sure I have ever had a decent haircut in my life. From bowlcut to high fade to tendrils to military-on-leave, I've sampled a ton but have never attained the Hollywood/ Russell Wong/ Rick Yune look. Now I'm not trying to go pretty boy - but if you are known at work as one of the Spiky Hair Asians, you'd want to do something about it too.
  
• watch - i notice rolexes. and i don't think i am the only one. maybe it's human nature, or maybe i'm just lame like that - but i know when someone is wearing one, and i automatically think of them as rich and privileged. in the business world, anyway, this is an advantageous place to be. similarly, like the truly beautiful, such people get away with a lot more. that's just life folks - hate it or love it, that's just the way it ticks.
  
• shoes - this is key, especially for guys (so i hear). Now, again, I am the man with holy socks and shabby shoes. In fact, my coworker San once made it a game to try to step on the leather straps that were falling off the back of my leather shoes. I remedied that with some masking tape. Now I don't know a bruno magli from a payless shoesource special, but snazzy, well fitting, and shined up shoes communicate a certain crispness and togetherness that imbues trust and respect. Impression of being well-heeled? Indeed.
• bag - I think the West Coast is more laid back about this, but apparently the East Coast is less forgiving of using a North Face backpack brought to tote your stuff. I heard there is a huge bag trend going around (e.g. Jack Spade) but at any rate, you are what you carry.

Again, I'm sorry to introduce such superficiality to the discussion, but this is something that I believe is straight up unavoidable. People are going to judge. And once that impression is made, your other strengths - such as communication, sense of humor, work ethic, ingenuity, will build on top of it. Simply ask yourself, what can I do to ensure a good starting point?

This doesn't mean you have to lose your uniqueness, nor does it mean that you have to start getting all Brave New Worldish and become a clone. It just means you have to keep your ear to the ground, your wits about you, and know when it's time to shine as an individual -- and when it's time to wear the uniform.

Love and Birthdays Abound!

The news:

Despite the shoddiness that is lose-an-hour day, it brings me great cheer to congratulate my buddies Tex, Peng, and Cindiana on each starting their walk down the Aisle. Hoo-ah!

A flurry of bdays have headed this way, as Sonman, Mr. Lu, Jay-girl, Wenchar, Mayor Rahman, LHM, STST and Daph are all coming of age in April. Feliz cumpleanos, peeps!

The thoughts:

• May Terri Schiavo finally rest in peace after the sad media circus/vulture-fest. It's a private matter people, let it be. (As will I, after this next sentence, promise). Big Q: I don't see how dying of dehydration and starvation is a good way to go - isn't that just a tad cruel?
• Read an article on Abu Ghraib on how an Iraqi general got beaten just before he died from suffocation. The strange thing is, the article sounded all outraged about the fact that he was beaten -- and glossed over the dying from asphyxiation part. Shaking my head - whiplash style.
• Just how exactly did the SF officers involved in Fajitagate get off scot-free??? This, as you may recall, is an event that besmirched the reputation of the entire precinct and drove the police commissioner to complain of related health trouble! Another oddity.
• Another article on the complete dependence on an Iraqi informant that was a known drunk -- and whom the Germans REFUSED to put the U.S. in touch with prior to Powell's big show in front of the UN (we had never even met the guy face-to-face). Why? The Germans said he was crazy.
  
• That it, I'm all head-shook out.
  

Yay Weekend:

• Texan second-cousin Jimmy visited just before he headed to Monterey for new admit wkd (studying to be a diplomat to Asia). He definitely knows his Asian history. I got some massive clarifications around the Japanese-Korea-China-Taiwan-US political web and one thing is indeed clear. That game of Risk is one helluva simulation of the real world. Ah, one question though- When should we hold the public accountable for what a government has done -- and when do we not?
• Spent an awesomely relaxing day at home in Danville. Walked Max (tight leash when other dogs around a definite must), told Jer about Japan, watched the Contender w Danny, gobbled Mom's cooking, helped Dad with his 42-slide Powerpoint, and enjoyed some good ol' taxes. That last one definitely deserves a Woooo-hooo. Saw Ronin (not bad, but it's really just a car scene showcase, isn't it?) as well as the Incredibles for the third time (still fresh! watch the dvd just for the Jack-Jack extra. Definitely worth it.)
• My mom tried to regift my Japanese gifts -- AS we were unwrapping them! This was a Chinese first for me. Wowzas, I must really suck at gift-giving...
  
• Tots is visiting in 3 weeks! Woohoo!

And that's a wrap - hope you had a similarly fun weekend. Until next time - over n out.